Not everyone in SL is looking for sex, incredible as that seems. Or relationships. Some people in SL are happy with their own company and just exploring the amazing creativity on display. To those people I say ‘have a great SL’.
For the rest of you, who enjoy the social aspect of SL in some form or another I have a few thoughts to share about profiles. Some people argue that your avi is the first point of contact for other people and that’s where the creative energy should go. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for an attractive avi, but in a sea of hot looking skins and shapes how does one person stand out from the crowd? In a word – a killer profile (three words, I know, but this isn’t an article about maths).
An interesting profile gives a sense of who you are, how you think, what you enjoy. It doesn’t have to be your CV or tell your life story or give out compromising personal information. It just has to make someone want to say hello.
Now I’m the first to admit I’m a profile snob. But, having read an inordinate amount of the damn things, I’ve distilled a few thoughts for the profile-challenged:
Rule #1 – Blank profiles are boring. No ifs, ands or buts.
And I don’t care if you just arrived this morning. Spend 10 mins and write a profile. Change it as you go, by all means, but start with something more than a blank slate. Because if that’s all you have then that’s what you appear to others as – a blank.
Rule #2 – Write something that shows yourself, not everyone else.
I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest we all like to ‘have fun, chat, dance and meet people from all over the world’ Or some combination of those. Otherwise why would we be here? If you don’t say any more about yourself than that then you’re really saying nothing.
Rule #3 – Being lazy isn’t the same as being deep.
For those who argue that you cannot express all the complex wonder that is you in just a few words, you’re right. Nobody can. But you can paint some broad strokes, give a hint. If you really can’t come up with some thing about yourself then I’m not convinced it makes you intriguing. Consider that many people with the same qualities have great profiles.
Similarly, if your profile just says ‘ask me’ then ask yourself why anyone would, given you’ve got nothing interesting in your profile to make you seem askworthy.
Profile 2
Rule #4 – Don’t just stand on the shoulders of giants.
I’m talking about quotes here. If you read a few profiles you’ll quickly see that some quotes – inspiring, witty or pithy as they are – just get overused. You know the ones I mean. You’ve seen them a dozen times. I don’t want to single out anyone in particular (‘those that matter don’t mind and those that mind don’t matter’, I’m looking at you). If you must use a quote, try something you haven’t seen in another profile.
And if your profile is just a ‘best of SL quotes’ then you run the risk of looking like you have to rely on others because you can’t string together any thoughts of your own.
Rule #5 – Biting bites.
‘I don’t bite…much/hard/often/unless you want me to/wink’. Look, I know it seemed cute when you wrote it. Sadly that’s the only time it was cute. Afterwards it just makes people cringe. Sorry, but if I don’t tell you these things, who will?
Rule #6 – Sppeling counts.
Typos. Yes we all make them in chat but often you’re fighting lag and the rhythm of the chat means your mind is racing ahead of your fingers. But in your profile you have time to correct typos. So if you’ve left it full of bad spelling then you just seem lazy or illiterate. Is that really the first impression you’re trying to make?
Rule #6 – Roleplaying belongs in a roleplaying sim.
Profiles that consist entirely of the backstory you’ve made up for your RP character often show imagination and creativity. But frankly, outside the RP world it’s just kind of creepy when your whole profile is about how you were kidnapped from your village by elven pirates as a child and grew up swearing that one day blah blah blah. Put it in a pick instead.
Rule #7 – Don’t write it if you’re not prepared to defend it.
I’ve had people get defensive when I take them up on some comment in their profile. Really? If you don’t want to talk about it or defend your point of view, then why put it in your profile in the first place?
Say what you want, by all means, but expect people to respond to what you write. That, is the point after all,.
So there you go. Some thoughts about profiles. In real life we can rely on looks to make a first impression but in SL it takes more. And a little effort can reap big rewards in terms of attracting the kind of people you’re interested in. I can’t count how many pleasant conversations have started as a result of people commenting on my profile. Which is all it really has to do – start the ball rolling. After that it’s up to you.
Popularity: 29% [?]
Related posts:
uh oh *goes and redoes my profile to reflect how charming, witty, and lovable i am*
It’s interesting how social norms are developing around behaviors that come into contact with other avatars – the profile, for example.
I just finished writing a post about antisocial behavior in online games, so it’s interesting to see something that confirms the development of social etiquette on such a minute scale as proper profile form.
I think you are correct PixPol about social norms developing around avatars. Some places and aspects of SL have very strict protocols and etiquette. Roleplaying sims spring to mind but there are certainly others. My article was perhaps more tongue in cheek. I don’t know that there is a particular etiquette to profiles. I was just offering suggestions on what makes a good profile by illustrating what I have perceived to be poor ones.
Your piece about antisocial behaviour in online games sounds interesting. It is certainly a world where the experienced gamers have an etiquette that new players can find daunting. Same with chat rooms (which on one level is what SL is – a huge chat room with pixels and detachable genitalia).